Who’s In Charge Here?
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I’ve just recently come to a terrifying realization.
I…. am an adult.
And not only am I an adult, but I have kids! Kids and a mortgage!
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??
I wasn’t supposed to live past the age of 30. That was the deal. But here I am, nearly 38 and I’m now “in charge” of things!
I have two small children who are looking to me for answers! (This morning my 5 year-old son asked me about marriage!!!) I have a wife who is looking to me for help in paying the mortgage, taxes and all of the bills!
I wasn’t prepared for this responsibility. I’m not prepared for this responsibility!
When I was a kid, I had an excellent coping mechanism that served me very well. I realized early on that all I had to do was simply seek the approval of the adults in charge. This meant my parents and teachers. I wasn’t too worried about the approval of my peers. After all, they were just kids too. But adults in positions of authority – well… they held my future in their hands. So I learned how to get their approval. My internal thought-process went like this: “As long as they approve of me, I’m on the right track, I’m doing the right things and if all else fails, the adults in charge will take care of me.”
Well, in the last week, my internal thoughts have been: “Well now that I’m the adult in charge, who’s going to take care of me?? Who’s going to tell me if I’m on the right track? Who’s going to approve of me? How the hell did this happen?”
This is scary stuff folks! How do you people handle it? (I’m talking to those of you who are going through life with expectations of a “normal” lifespan.)
Please leave your advice and suggestions in the comments section below!
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I believe the next step to being a ‘real’ grown up is when you realize that you are the only one who has to approve of you and as lonely as that might be at times that is one of the ‘bottom lines’ of being truly grown up.
It can be lonely and difficult as not many people take this kind of path in life, many people continue to look outside theirselves for approval and they find new places or people to try to get it from.
My sitcom is a little bit of play with a part of my personality that is still hoping my Angels will give me all the answers
http://www.daisypower.com
Looking forward to seeing what other people think about this issue,
Ashlie Rhey
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Hey Ashlie: Great point of view! I notice that in your sitcom video even though your character is looking to Angels for answers, she doesn’t even listen when she DOES get answers! Isn’t that just like people? We want someone to show us the way – but at the same time we don’t want to be told what to do!
-Patrick
Comment by Ashlie Rhey »