Goodbyes

Think of someone very dear to you. Perhaps your spouse or lover comes to mind. Maybe it is a child, parent or friend.

Now I want you to imagine that this is the last time you would ever see that person again.

• Imagine how long you would take to say goodbye.
• What would you say?
• What would you make absolutely sure they know?

Our need to say goodbye is tremendously strong. The book Final Gifts by two hospice nurses, Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, is filled with very touching stories illustrating dying people’s need for closure.

Brazilian author Paulo Coelho recently shared the following story:

During the atrocities that accompanied the Bolshevik revolution, thousands of people were arbitrarily arrested, beaten, stripped and executed with a shot in the back of the head. According to one witness: “at the most tragic moment in our lives we have an absolute need to not feel alone. So most of the victims asked to say goodbye – and since there was nobody nearby, they embraced and said farewell to their executioners.”

Life is full of uncertainties. We never know when we will be saying goodbye for the last time. Now I’m not advocating that you say your final goodbyes each and every time you leave for work or head to the store for milk.

What I am suggesting is that from time to time we need to check in with ourselves to ensure that those whom we love know how much they mean to us.

I will consider my life a success if I can go to my grave knowing that there is no one to whom I didn’t get the chance to say the words “I’m sorry”, “I forgive you”, or “I love you”.

Is there anything you are leaving unsaid?