(Hey, did we ever decide what we we’re calling that last decade? We had the 80’s, then the 90’s but what is the name for the decade we just finished? And what are we in now? The “teens”?)
Well, it’s a new year and the beginning of a new decade! Why not take this opportunity to create a new life for yourself?
I have been writing and speaking about the Power of Mortality™ for six years now. As you are probably aware, my message is closely tied to my life story, and since life continues to grow and evolve, my message has evolved as well.
If the Power of Mortality™ was about waking people up to the importance of their lives, then my next step involves helping people get into action when it comes to creating their dream lives.
I am thrilled to invite you to join me at ChooseTheLifeYouWant.com as I discuss a three-step process to help people live the lives of their dreams. Lives of significance. Lives that are fearless, focused and free from regret.
Choose The Life You Want (CTLYW) simply builds on the discussion that was started with The Power of Mortality. Naturally, the concept of embracing your own mortality is one of the cornerstones of the CTLYW approach. If you haven’t already read and signed the Mortality Manifesto Pledge – do it now!
I am replacing my Mindful Moment newsletter and podcast with a weekly email newsletter called “Fearless, Focused Fridays“. The idea is to give yourself a few moments on Friday to reflect on your dreams and head into the weekend and following week with a renewed sense of purpose and clarity.
As I begin this new chapter, I want to sincerely thank you for being part of my journey so far. I would be honored in you would continue with me as we both begin to choose (and live) the lives we want!
Written By Patrick Mathieu — Category: Mindful Moment
@ 12:15 am
No, this post has nothing to do with my quest to get in shape – I have not gained 30% more weight! (I’m actually doing quite well in that department, thanks for asking!)
And it is certainly not about my amazing hair re-growth.
I’m talking about LIFE ITSELF!
Yes, on March 18th, 2009 I celebrate 39 years on planet earth!
Which means that I have now enjoyed 30% more life than my expiry date had given me!
Now this is not just a cheap attempt to get all of you to wish me a happy birthday (although you should now feel obliged to send your good wishes via the comment section below!). Instead, I want to use this an an opportunity to do two things:
1. I want to wish my mother a Happy Birthday! No, she wasn’t also born on March 18th. You see, in my opinion, the birthdays should be about the mother. After all, she is the one that GAVE BIRTH. All I did was show up and look cute. So when your birthday rolls around, I encourage you to thank your own mother and to wish her a happy birthday!
2. I want you to think about what you would do with an extra 30% more life. Just imagine the possibilities! And to help you get started on living those possibilities, I’d like to offer you a gift. (Yes, it’s my birthday, but I’m the one giving you a gift) It’s called the Mortality Manifesto Pledge and it just might change your life, if you let it.
I’ve decided to finally start using video to help spread the message of the Power of Mortality™. Here is the first video in the series. It’s a short (41 second) video called “Enough Time?”
And I need your help!
- Please pass this video on to family and friends!
- Post it on your Facebook or MySpace pages!
- Share it via your own blogs!
- Spread the news through Twitter!
- Vote for it on StumbleUpon, Digg, and any other social bookmarking utility!
Let’s see how many people we can get to Take The Pledge!
As a Certified Master Coach I have a certain level of expertise when it comes to understanding and modifying human behavior patterns. For the most part, the limitations and roadblocks that people encounter in achieving their goals and objectives are self-imposed. The role of a great coach is to help the client get our of their own way so that they can easily and naturally do the things they really want to do. We do this by having the client look carefully at the belief systems from which they operate on a daily basis. And the best way to get to the core of those beliefs is to have the client listen carefully to their own self-talk.
As you may know, I have recently made a choice to increase my fitness level and decrease my body mass and body fat percentage. I am using all of my skills and expertise to ensure that this choice becomes a reality for me in a fast and efficient manner.
This week, (the first week of my program) I paid very close attention the self-talk that was coming up around my lifestyle choices. I found that I was really embracing the exercise components of my plan, but I was having some difficulty around food choices. I was eating well, but not consistently. Towards the end of the week, I found myself making some “bad” choices when it came to snacks. As I tuned in to the self-talk around these choices, here is what I heard:
“Yummm! I’m going to have some of this – just as a treat.”
“That’s a bad idea and it’s out of line with my goals.”
“Yeah, I only live once. Do I want to live a spartan lifestyle, or do I want to enjoy myself? I deserve this little treat.”
WOW! Those are a lot of unconscious beliefs at work there! Let’s take a look:
First, you can see that my Power of Mortality™ mindset is working against me with the excuse that I deserve a treat because I only live once and I could die at any moment. That’s an absolutely silly excuse now that I’m aware of it!
Second, I am equating sticking to my plan as living a “spartan lifestyle”. How likely am I to stick with something like that?
Third, I am further equating this to a lack of enjoyment and self-deprivation. I’ve even gone so far as to make it an either/or situation – “spartan lifestyle” or “enjoy myself”. Hmmmmm.. no wonder I’ve struggled with this in the past.
I recently wrote about the fact that nothing has any meaning except for the meaning we give it. I said: “Once we realize that we have complete control over the meanings we assign to things, we gain a tremendous amount of power.” Here’s how I shifted my meaning in this situation.
I zeroed in on my phrase “Do I want to live a spartan lifestyle, or do I want to enjoy myself?”. As I heard the words “spartan lifestyle” I was able to instantly shift the meaning. When I heard the word “spartan”, I thought of the movie “300” which was an incredibly violent and gory movie full of guys with fantastic abdominal muscles. (I choose to believe that these were computer generated abs courtesy of Pixar Studios!)
That one shift has made all the difference! Now, when I hear my self-talk whining about not being able to eat something, and I hear “do I want to live a spartan lifestyle?” I think of those guys and their abs and I answer: “Hell yes, I want to live a lifestyle like that!” (The great abs part of the lifestyle – not the death, violence and gore part.)
Then I visualize the negative and limiting self-talk as the messenger in the movie who is standing at the edge of the well and I kick him backwards into the abyss!
I imagine myself as the main character in the movie, standing there with rippling abs and armed with a celery stick, ready to take on thousands of invading chocolate bars or cookies! This a completely silly and ridiculous way of thinking and that’s precicely why it works for me. I find it fun and easy to do!
And more importantly, it breaks the pattern in my head about what my healthy choices mean (lack of enjoyment and self-depravation) and helps install new, supportive meanings and beliefs.
So this week, I encourage you to consciously tune in to your own self-talk and be on the lookout for limiting beliefs that might be working against your goals and objectives. If you need help… I’ll be over here eating celery and doing situps!
I subscribe to Oprah’s podcast and January 7th, there was a short (3m 36s) video podcast called “Oprah’s Candid Confession – The Real Reason Behind Her 40-Pound Weight Gain”. I watched with great interest to see what this candid confession was all about. As I watched, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!
“And what happened was, um.. life took over… life took over. I started getting overwhelmed.”
Excuse me – what was that?
I had to back up and listen to it again, but that’s what she said.
I was dumbfounded. How can Oprah get overwhelmed because “life took over”?
So I kept watching the video clip. She spoke about insomnia and being exhausted. “…many a day I didn’t want to come into work. I didn’t want to come into work because I’m so tired. Too much work, not enough play, not enough time to come down, not enough time to really relax.”
While she is talking, we see footage of Oprah running around back stage, being tended to by hair and makeup people, in meetings, and in the studio for her radio program. At one point she enters the frame of the camera while walking down a hall. She has a coat draped over her shoulder, looks at the camera and says: “Done with that – on to my next job.”
At that point, Oprah lost me completely.
Here is one of the wealthiest women in the world talking about being overwhelmed because of ‘work’?? I can only imagine how that comment would have sounded to someone who is working two (or more) jobs in order to try to pay the rent and put food on the table. Wikipedia indicates that Oprah’s 2008 salary was $385 million dollars.
I found myself inadvertently yelling at the computer: “Oprah! Have you completely lost your mind??” Who is making you go to work each day? Who controls your schedule? You’re Oprah Winfrey for godsake! You can do whatever you want!”
Clearly Oprah was making a HUGE mistake.
Then I calmed down and decided to do some more research. Now, I believe that the video clip was edited to be a sensationalistic teaser, designed to get you to tune in to the Oprah show to hear more. After reading an article on her website, titled “How Did I Let This Happen Again?“, I discovered that she doesn’t blame “life taking over” for her weight gain. She has a thyroid condition. But she also doesn’t blame the weight gain entirely on the thyroid condition.
She writes:
What I’ve learned this year is that my weight issue isn’t about eating less or working out harder, or even about a malfunctioning thyroid. It’s about my life being out of balance, with too much work and not enough play, not enough time to calm down. I let the well run dry.
When I stop and ask myself, “What am I really hungry for?” the answer is always “I’m hungry for balance, I’m hungry to do something other than work.” If you look at your overscheduled routine and realize, like I did, that you’re just going and going and that your work and obligations have become a substitute for life, then you have no one else to blame. Only you can take the reins back.
That’s what I’m doing. These days I’ve put myself back on my own priority list; I try to do at least one hour of exercise five or six days a week. As I work out, eat healthfully, and reorder my life so there’s time to replenish my energy, I continue to do the spiritual and emotional work to conquer this battle once and for all.
If I could offer a word of advice to Oprah, it would be this: “It’s all a choice.“ Especially for someone as powerful as Oprah. She can choose how much or how little she wants to work. She can choose to utilize the army of personal trainers, nutritionists, doctors and specialists that she has available to her. Or she can choose not to.
For her sake, and for the sake of everyone who is looking to her for an example, I sincerely hope that Oprah realizes the power of choosing the life you want. This is a choice that you make moment by moment, day by day.
~~~
Note: Writing this article has moved me to put my words into action. Read Choose, Then Act!
I just read a funny blog post written yesterday (Dec 30th at 11:32pm) by an acquaintance of mine named Chip. It was titled “Eeek!” and the first paragraph says:
How has this happened? I had big plans to implement before the end of the year. I mean, I still have 24.5 hours but I plan on sleeping for at least 5 of those.
Do you find yourself in the same boat? I think that’s one of the reasons that people like to celebrate the new year – it allows us to turn the page on things that may not have worked out as we’d hoped and start fresh with a new set of goals, dreams and resolutions!
But unless you make some different choices in 2009 than you made in 2008, I guarantee that you will find yourself on Dec 30, 2009 saying: “Eeek!”
It really is that simple. Whether or not we achieve our goals, has less to do with the actual goals, dreams and resolutions and more, much more, to do with the choices we make and the actions we take.
My resolution, my goal, my choice for 2009 is to help as many people as possible to begin to live the lives they really want, rather than the lives they’ve been getting by default. I am working on three new books (a children’s story about the Power of Mortality™, a book of rituals that I’m working on with a co-author, and a follow-up to What’s Your Expiry Date?) and I’m going to have a powerful weekend seminar/retreat ready for the fall. All of these exciting projects have the same objective: empower people to choose the life they want!
I want to make sure that from now on, at the end of December we aren’t saying:
“Eeek! How did this happen? Oh well, I’ll try again next year”
Instead, I want everyone to be left with the amazing feeling that you get when the roller-coaster pulls into the station and you say:
I recently wrote a guest article about the current economic turmoil for the motivation and self improvement website Pick The Brain. You can read the article, which I titled “Your Money Or Your Life?“. Since I received such a strong reaction to the piece, I thought I would record an audio version.
If you find that my message offers a useful point of view, please take a moment to share it with anyone who might also benefit from hearing / reading it.
Also, please share your thoughts in the comments section!
…And when I say motivation from “within” – I mean WITHIN!
Last week I had my annual check-up with the cardiology team. These are not your standard cardiologists – these doctors are specially trained in dealing with adults with congenital heart conditions. (Public Service Announcement: If you, or someone you love, was born with any sort of heart defect [as 1 in 100 babies are], then you need to be sure that you are being followed by a congenital heart specialist – not just a regular cardiologist. For more information contact the CCHA in Canada or the ACHA in the US)
I have been having annual checkups since I was born (except for the seven or eight years after receiving my ‘expiry date’ – you may have read about those years in my book). One of the diagnostic tests that they almost always use during these checkups is called an echocardiogram. It’s the same technology that they use on pregnant women to check the progress of the baby and it gives you a fascinating look inside the human body.
So I have had the privilege of being able to watch my own heart as it does its thing. I’m guessing that I’ve probably seen this “live and in person” about 31 times. And I have a powerful video clip of my own heart that I keep on my BlackBerry (Ask me to see it the next time you meet me). For me, watching my heart is like visiting with a wise old friend.
Now my heart bears little resemblance to yours. (If you haven’t already listened to my heart – you can do that here.) All my life I have had cardiologists tell me that if someone were to intentionally build a heart the way mine is built – it would never function. But mine does! I know that I am a walking miracle!
And that humbling fact was brought home to me once again last week as I lay on my side watching my heart beating away – doing things that it’s not supposed to do.
As I reflected on this miracle in action, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and drive sweep over me. “I’ve been given a tremendous gift here! Who am I to squander it by living an ‘ordinary’ life?”
Isn’t that a powerful realization?
But you don’t have to have a freakish heart to tap into that same feeling. Your own body, whether young or old, healthy or not, is a miracle of nature! You have the ability to turn food and drink into muscles and bones. You pull oxygen out of the air and turn it into thoughts and dreams. And all without any effort on your part!
You’re a miracle in action too! So please tell me you’re not planning on living an ordinary life! No matter what sort of live you’ve been living up to this point – it can all change now! With the very next beat of your heart, you can decide to live your life on purpose. And if you ever get discouraged or doubtful… put two fingers on your wrist, feel the driving rhythm of your pulse and tap into that motivation from within!
No, this post has nothing to do with my quest to 
That one shift has made all the difference! Now, when I hear my self-talk whining about not being able to eat something, and I hear “do I want to live a spartan lifestyle?” I think of those guys and their abs and I answer: “Hell yes, I want to live a lifestyle like that!” (The great abs part of the lifestyle – not the death, violence and gore part.)
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