As a Certified Master Coach I have a certain level of expertise when it comes to understanding and modifying human behavior patterns.  For the most part, the limitations and roadblocks that people encounter in achieving their goals and objectives are self-imposed.  The role of a great coach is to help the client get our of their own way so that they can easily and naturally do the things they really want to do.  We do this by having the client look carefully at the belief systems from which they operate on a daily basis. And the best way to get to the core of those beliefs is to have the client listen carefully to their own self-talk.

As you may know, I have recently made a choice to increase my fitness level and decrease my body mass and body fat percentage.    I am using all of my skills and expertise to ensure that this choice becomes a reality for me in a fast and efficient manner.

This week, (the first week of my program) I paid very close attention the self-talk that was coming up around my lifestyle choices.  I found that I was really embracing the exercise components of my plan, but I was having some difficulty around food choices.  I was eating well, but not consistently.  Towards the end of the week, I found myself making some “bad” choices when it came to snacks.  As I tuned in to the self-talk around these choices, here is what I heard:

“Yummm! I’m going to have some of this – just as a treat.”

“That’s a bad idea and it’s out of line with my goals.”

“Yeah, I only live once. Do I want to live a spartan lifestyle, or do I want to enjoy myself? I deserve this little treat.”

WOW!  Those are a lot of unconscious beliefs at work there!  Let’s take a look:

• First, you can see that my Power of Mortality™ mindset is working against me with the excuse that I deserve a treat because I only live once and I could die at any moment.  That’s an absolutely silly excuse now that I’m aware of it!
• Second, I am equating sticking to my plan as living a “spartan lifestyle”.  How likely am I to stick with something like that?
• Third, I am further equating this to a lack of enjoyment and self-deprivation. I’ve even gone so far as to make it an either/or situation – “spartan lifestyle” or “enjoy myself”.  Hmmmmm.. no wonder I’ve struggled with this in the past.

I recently wrote about the fact that nothing has any meaning except for the meaning we give it. I said: “Once we realize that we have complete control over the meanings we assign to things, we gain a tremendous amount of power.”  Here’s how I shifted my meaning in this situation.

I zeroed in on my phrase “Do I want to live a spartan lifestyle, or do I want to enjoy myself?”.  As I heard the words “spartan lifestyle” I was able to instantly shift the meaning. When I heard the word “spartan”, I thought of the movie “300” which was an incredibly violent and gory movie full of guys with fantastic abdominal muscles. (I choose to believe that these were computer generated abs courtesy of Pixar Studios!)

That one shift has made all the difference!  Now, when I hear my self-talk whining about not being able to eat something, and I hear “do I want to live a spartan lifestyle?” I think of those guys and their abs and I answer: “Hell yes,  I want to live a lifestyle like that!” (The great abs part of the lifestyle – not the death, violence and gore part.)

Then I visualize the negative and limiting self-talk as the messenger in the movie who is standing at the edge of the well and I kick him backwards into the abyss!

I imagine myself as the main character in the movie, standing there with rippling abs and armed with a celery stick, ready to take on thousands of invading chocolate bars or cookies! This a completely silly and ridiculous way of thinking and that’s precicely why it works for me. I find it fun and easy to do!

And more importantly, it breaks the pattern in my head about what my healthy choices mean (lack of enjoyment and self-depravation) and helps install new, supportive meanings and beliefs.

So this week, I encourage you to consciously tune in to your own self-talk and be on the lookout for limiting beliefs that might be working against your goals and objectives. If you need help… I’ll be over here eating celery and doing situps!

“Choice” is my new mantra.  I have written a number of articles on the subject – some on this blog (here and here) and one on a blog called The Positive Imperative. And it’s the central subject of one of the books I’m writing (the follow up to What’s Your Expiry Date?) which will be released later this year.

I just finished writing a blog entry called “Oprah’s Big Mistake“.  In the article, which revolves around Oprah Winfrey’s weight gain, I offered the following words of advice: “It’s all a choice.” (Please read the article before you unleash your pro-Oprah fury on me!)

And I truly believe that!  I believe that we need to choose the life we want to live. I believe that the path to the life you want comes from choices that you make moment to moment, day to day. And I believe that we have to start making those choices right now.

So I’ve decided to put this theory to the test!

Right now, I weigh more than I’d like to.  Since I’m a tall person with a big frame, I carry my weight well and I don’t really consider it an issue.  But deep down, I would like to be leaner and more fit.  If I’m really honest with myself, I will admit that if I were truly choosing the life I want, I wouldn’t choose to weigh this much.

So I’m going to put my skills to the test.

• I’m a Certified Master Coach and I empower people to achieve incredible results.
• I’m a powerful motivational speaker and author and I specialize in personal and corporate transformation.
• And most importantly, I know the power of taking responsibility for your own life and the power of making a choice to pilot your own life.

So… here we go.

Today, January 18th 2009, I weigh 218.5 lbs and have a body fat percentage of 26%

I am making the choice to get myself down to 195 lbs and 17% body fat.

I’m not putting a timeline on this, I’m just going to be consistent with my choices and let it take as long as it takes.  I’m in no hurry.

My plan? I plan to use all of the different approaches with which I’ve had some success in the past.

• Choosing alkalizing foods
• Proper hydration
• Walking
• Push-ups (I’m using the hundredpushups.com program)
• Sit-ups (I’m using the twohundredsitups.com program)
• AND YOU!  I’m going to be reporting on my progress via Twitter and Facebook, so if you would like to see how I’m doing and offer encouragement – then please follow me on Twitter or become my friend on Facebook.

One of the reasons that I can speak so confidently about the Power of Mortality™ is that I live it on a daily basis.  I want to bring this same resolve to the topic of choosing the life you want. Making a choice is the first step. Acting on it is where things really start to happen!

I subscribe to Oprah’s podcast and January 7th, there was a short (3m 36s) video podcast called “Oprah’s Candid Confession – The Real Reason Behind Her 40-Pound Weight Gain”.  I watched with great interest to see what this candid confession was all about.  As I watched, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!

“And what happened was, um.. life took over… life took over.  I started getting overwhelmed.”

Excuse me – what was that?

I had to back up and listen to it again, but that’s what she said.

I was dumbfounded.  How can Oprah get overwhelmed because “life took over”?

So I kept watching the video clip.  She spoke about insomnia and being exhausted.  “…many a day I didn’t want to come into work. I didn’t want to come into work because I’m so tired.  Too much work, not enough play, not enough time to come down, not enough time to really relax.”

While she is talking, we see footage of Oprah running around back stage, being tended to by hair and makeup people, in meetings, and in the studio for her radio program.  At one point she enters the frame of the camera while walking down a hall.  She has a coat draped over her shoulder, looks at the camera and says: “Done with that – on to my next job.”

At that point, Oprah lost me completely.

Here is one of the wealthiest women in the world talking about being overwhelmed because of ‘work’??  I can only imagine how that comment would have sounded to someone who is working two (or more) jobs in order to try to pay the rent and put food on the table.  Wikipedia indicates that Oprah’s 2008 salary was $385 million dollars.

I found myself inadvertently yelling at the computer: “Oprah! Have you completely lost your mind??” Who is making you go to work each day? Who controls your schedule? You’re Oprah Winfrey for godsake! You can do whatever you want!”

Clearly Oprah was making a HUGE mistake.

Then I calmed down and decided to do some more research. Now, I believe that the video clip was edited to be a sensationalistic teaser, designed to get you to tune in to the Oprah show to hear more.  After reading an article on her website, titled “How Did I Let This Happen Again?“, I discovered that she doesn’t blame “life taking over” for her weight gain.  She has a thyroid condition.  But she also doesn’t blame the weight gain entirely on the thyroid condition.

She writes:

What I’ve learned this year is that my weight issue isn’t about eating less or working out harder, or even about a malfunctioning thyroid. It’s about my life being out of balance, with too much work and not enough play, not enough time to calm down. I let the well run dry.

When I stop and ask myself, “What am I really hungry for?” the answer is always “I’m hungry for balance, I’m hungry to do something other than work.” If you look at your overscheduled routine and realize, like I did, that you’re just going and going and that your work and obligations have become a substitute for life, then you have no one else to blame. Only you can take the reins back.

That’s what I’m doing. These days I’ve put myself back on my own priority list; I try to do at least one hour of exercise five or six days a week. As I work out, eat healthfully, and reorder my life so there’s time to replenish my energy, I continue to do the spiritual and emotional work to conquer this battle once and for all.

If I could offer a word of advice to Oprah, it would be this: “It’s all a choice.“  Especially for someone as powerful as Oprah.  She can choose how much or how little she wants to work.  She can choose to utilize the army of personal trainers, nutritionists, doctors and specialists that she has available to her.  Or she can choose not to.

For her sake, and for the sake of everyone who is looking to her for an example, I sincerely hope that Oprah realizes the power of choosing the life you want.  This is a choice that you make moment by moment, day by day.

~~~

Note: Writing this article has moved me to put my words into action.  Read Choose, Then Act!

There are two things you need to know about your life:

1. Dying is not a choice.
2. Everything else is. Everything!

Allow me to explain.

If you were born, then you will die.  That’s the rule.  There is no getting around it, it’s a package deal.  You don’t get to choose not to die.  You also don’t get to choose when, where or how you are going to die.  Everyone dies. Men and women, rich and poor, sinners and saints.  One day, our time on this earth will come to an end.  If you would like some help accepting this, I suggest you start with my Mortality Manifesto.

But here’s the good news! Although dying is not a choice, everything else in our lives IS a choice.  Absolutely everything!

I’m sure that some of you are mentally arguing with me right now.
“It wasn’t my choice to lose my job!”
“It wasn’t my choice to be in a car accident!”
“It wasn’t my choice to be raped!”
“It wasn’t my choice to…”

Even when it seems like we don’t have a choice – we do.  (sshhh! Come closer – I’m about to tell you the meaning of life!)  Ready?? …There is no meaning of life!  At least not until we give it one.  Life just is.  Things just are. People do what people do.  Stuff happens.  It’s you and I that are constantly assigning meanings to everything.  A snowstorm is just a snowstorm – it doesn’t mean anything.  If you are a commuter facing snarled traffic on a Friday drive home you will assign one meaning to that snowstorm.  If I am the owner of a ski resort who is now anticipating a booming weekend, I will assign a completely different meaning to that snowstorm.  Same snow, different meaning.  If you’re still not convinced that the quality of our lives is dictated by the meanings we choose to assign to everything, then you need to read (or re-read) Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

Once we realize that we have complete control over the meanings we assign to things, we gain a tremendous amount of power.  In fact, if we really take this seriously, we can tap into an unlimited supply of power and energy.  Just for a moment, I want you to imagine living your life without ever feeling like you are a victim of other people or external circumstances.  What would that life look like and how different would it be from the one you’re experiencing right now?

(Seriously – take a moment and do this.  Don’t worry, you can go back to your regular life in two minutes – or never – if that’s what you choose.)

If you aren’t happy with the results you’ve been getting so far, or even if you are happy but know that there is always room for more, NOW is the time to make the change!  All it takes is a choice.

Isn’t it time that you begin to choose the life you want?

If you are interested in how to do this, then stay tuned!  That is precisely what I am going to be writing and speaking about in the upcoming weeks and months. Also, please forward this to friends and let them in on the secret – it applies to their lives too!

(PS: Getting back to Point #1, the ‘death thing’, for a moment… although dying is not a choice, the meaning we choose to assign to it absolutely is!  Even more exciting: once you accept and begin to really use Point #2 on a consistent daily basis, you won’t even care about Point #1 anymore!)