I’m not a psychologist, but in my opinion the reason that so many people fail to follow through on their New Year’s Resolutions is that they try to make drastic changes overnight.

I believe that the secret to successful resolutions can be found in my Mortality Manifesto’s concept of daily living. Allow me to explain.

Let’s say that you smoke cigarettes and would like to stop. But you’ve been smoking for so many years that you don’t know how to live without cigarettes. In fact, you actually think of yourself not just as someone who smokes, but as “a smoker” – it has become part of your identity.

Making a New Year’s Resolution like: “I will stop smoking in 2008″ is the equivalent of saying that you will completely change a major aspect of your personality overnight. Of course, you can enlist nicotine gum, patches and hypnosis to help you with this transformation, but you are still trying to make a drastic change all at once. On top of that, by making this change at the beginning of the New Year, you are proclaiming that this change will last for the entire year ahead. When you’ve been cigarette-free for three weeks, you are likely to focus less on the 21 days that you’ve succeeded and more on the 344 days left in 2008! Talk about overwhelm!

The Mortality Manifesto encourages you to ensure that your every thought, word and action are moving you in the direction of your dreams. But the real key to successful resolutions comes in the last line of the Manifesto, which reads:

“This is the gift I give to myself – today and every day!”

You CAN change a major aspect your personality overnight – provided that you are only trying to change it one day at a time. As If you commit to doing that each and every day, I believe you can have anything you desire in 2008!

Make it an outstanding year by making each day an outstanding day!

ENJOY NOW!

I’ve posted this question on my Facebook page (go ahead and add me as a friend), but I thought I’d also ask it here.

There’s no right or wrong answer – I’d just like to hear what everyone has to say on the matter!

So: what age is a good age to die?

Please give your answer in the Comments section.

Thanks!

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In my last podcast, I spoke about how happiness is a choice.

This week I get the chance to put my money where my mouth is. My wife left on a business trip on Saturday and she doesn’t return until late next Friday night. That means that for seven days I am a single-parent to a five year old and a two year old!

Talk about Living the Power of NOW!

When I was speaking with a friend of mine recently she said, “I don’t know how you do it. I’d go crazy after a couple of days.” The truth is, I’ve had practice. This summer my wife was sent to China for 10 days and in the month of November, she has three trips that have her gone for a total of 15 days.

But instead of focusing on the fact that I’m outnumbered by little people who have way more energy and persistence than me – I choose to focus on the fact that I’ve been given the gift to really spend some with my kids and be fully present to their lives.

I’ve seen too many people who view parenting as yet another item on their “to do” list and for the most part, that attitude is reflected in the way their children behave.

Now don’t get me wrong. When I’m running the show alone, there can be some crying at my house. There can be yelling. And there can be tantrums. And the kids have had some rough times too! But when things get too crazy, I just remind myself that I have a choice about how I react. And I always choose happiness.

And you want to know an amazing side-effect of choosing happiness? It seems to rub-off on the kids too! I’ve found that when I’m more relaxed and happy about things, the overall mood in the house is relaxed and happy. Which means that when the tears come over a toy that isn’t being properly shared, they tend to disappear quite quickly. It’s as if the kids understand that they too can choose to be happy or not.

ENJOY NOW!

I just had to pass along this tremendous video from Brother David, a Benedictine monk, author and spiritual leader.

I love what he has to say about TODAY! It’s as if he is reading my mind!! (But he has a much more interesting accent!)

Give yourself the gift of taking 5 minutes to watch and listen.

ENJOY NOW!

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Ask any parent what they want for their children’s lives and I’ll bet you get the same answer: “I just want them to be happy.”

Sounds reasonable – right? So then why don’t we wish the same for ourselves?

More and more I’m beginning to believe (not just think, but truly believe) that happiness is a choice. Forget the fact that you’ve probably seen that phrase on a coffee mug or poster with a cutsey kitten photo, the fact remains: you can choose to find the negative or positive in any situation. Don’t believe me? Just ask Viktor Frankl.

So here’s what I’m doing about it. I’ve decided that starting today, happiness is my highest priority! After all – life is too short to not be happy as much as possible. I’ll tell you how I’m going to do it so that you can join me in this experiment.

First – I’m going to try to stay focused on the present moment – every moment. To do this, I’ll need to try to turn off the narrating voice in my head – no small task. I’ll start by re-reading one of my favorite books: The Power of Now

Next – I’m going to look for something in each moment and situation that I can be happy about.

Finally – I’m going to spend some time each day thinking about things as I’d like them to be. I’ll ask myself, “What would be really great? What would make me so happy I’d be giddy?”

Another important key to all of this is gratitude. It’s very difficult to be negative and grateful at the same time. Thankfully, I have LOTS to be grateful for!

Now some may call this “wishful thinking” or accuse me of pushing a Pollyanna attitude. That’s OK. My guess is that these people will not be happier than me!

I don’t expect this experiment to be easy. But I do expect the results to be profound. Check back to see how I’m doing (I’ll provide updates in the comments section of this post.)

Do you have any suggestions on how I can make the most of my experiment? Do you have any experience with this sort of attitude? Let’s hear about it in the comments.

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Have you ever had the realization that you were spending time on something that just wasn’t worth it?

Have you ever looked at a situation and said “Life is too short for this!”

And I don’t mean the time you decided that the lineup at Starbucks was too long to wait. I’m talking about BIG things. Life altering things.

If you’re familiar with my story, it won’t surprise you that I’ve had more than my fair share of “life is too short” revelations over the years. In fact, I use this phrase on a daily basis! You see, when you live your life using the Power of Mortality™, it becomes part of your built-in decision-making process.

Here’s how it works: If something is causing you some degree of stress, frustration, anger, anxiety – or ANY other negative emotion, simply ask yourself: “Is this worth it? If I knew that I only had six months left to live, would I want to spend my time and energy on this?”

I’ll give you one example from my own life.

I was once engaged to a woman who is not my wife. That’s right, I bought the diamond ring… got down on one knee and proposed. And she accepted! We set the wedding date for a year later. But as I drove away from the scene of the proposal, I couldn’t help notice a feeling that wasn’t quite right.

Don’t get me wrong – I was happy. I proposed… she said yes… so of course I was happy. But I wasn’t thrilled. And growing up I always imagined that I’d be thrilled when I got engaged. As the months progressed, I became less and less convinced that I’d made the right decision. Was it just “cold feet”? I couldn’t be sure – after all, I’d never been engaged before.

And here was the really tough part. There was nothing about the situation that was wrong – it was just that I knew that it wasn’t right. If something were clearly wrong, then my decision would have been simple. But given that I couldn’t point to one thing as the source of my unease, I felt trapped in the situation.

It took a few months, but I eventually I managed to quiet down the voice in my head (the one that was telling me to ’suck it up and stick to your decision’) long enough to listen to my heart. And the second I did that, I realized one crystal clear truth:

Life is too short to spend it married to someone that you’re not thrilled about!

So I broke off the engagement (and the relationship) seven months before the wedding! We already had a deposit on a hall, we had already purchased the bonbonnières, and of course both families were gearing up for the nuptials. It was one of the most difficult days of my life and I was deeply sorry for the hurt that it caused my fiancée – but I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing – life is too short!

(And for the record… my wife was the one who proposed to me! And I was so thrilled that I don’t even remember driving home that day!)

So what about YOU? Have you had any “life is too short…” realizations? Let’s hear about them in the comments!

I’m planning to interview some people who’ve made serious changes to their lives thanks to the realization that “life is too short”, so please come back soon to be inspired by their stories! (Or better yet, subscribe to email updates by entering your email address in the box on the upper right corner of the page or subscribe to my RSS feed.)

Yes, I may be the last person on the planet to give-in and join Facebook, but I’ve done it!

I see it as yet another opportunity to connect with anyone who has:

• attended one of my presentations or seminars (or just wanted to)
• seen me on TV (or YouTube) or heard me on radio
• read my book

I’ve added a link to the left-hand navigation bar of my blog so that you can reach my profile on Facebook. So feel free to add me as a friend.

I found an interesting FB application called Testimonials, so if you have something nice to say…

Last week, an article titled “Are We Happier Facing Death?” appeared on Time’s website.

The answer to the question goes against logic and common sense, but it didn’t surprise me a bit! After all, I’ve known the answer to that question for thirteen years.

I encourage you to read the article for yourself and please feel free to leave comments below.

By the way: here are some other links to articles about the same research

Death-Defying Thoughts  – findcounselling.com

How our minds counter the fear of eventual death – anxietyinsights.info

Faced With Death, Our Minds Turn To Happier Thoughts – sciencedaily.com